skeletons

painful memories
digging in the past of life
bury who i was

digging through old bones

Found an old box tonight. At first the smell of age hits you as it was opened, then the synapsis kick in from unaccessed areas of grey matter. Pictures of boys I have kissed, a letter from my dad I couldn't quite courage the strength to read, a letter of recommendation from a teacher, notes from a high school friend, painful and cherished memories. I had to stop looking in it.

I don't know where the tears are coming from as I process what I just did. Is it the lost acquaintances? The stupid mistakes? Or a girl I didn't like much. (me) It's not all sadness. Some is painful from reading some of my old writing from English in college. Ugh. Why do I hold on to it? What makes me not want to throw it away? What good can come from a giant floppy disk? I find myself putting it all away and knowing myself, I'll do it again. I'll bring out those memories and dig through the old bones of my past.