Liar, Liar

My pants are frickin' burning baby!

Why is it that the one thing you truly take into your life as something good to apply to your life turned out to be the one thing you find yourself so far from being on the same page with? Why? Here I self proclaim that my family are the humble seekers of happiness. Okay, so for the most part it's true. We do. But really, underlying that is a whole can of worms. I just hope they get done making this lump of clay into rich, fertile soil that grows a beautiful garden. Whoop, there I go again proclaiming. Really, I don't need to be tested on it. I'm just saying...

back haiku

the path was so rough

i almost gave up so much

had to find my way

thoughts of clarity

sometimes He does take the cup from you. you just got to make sure you don't keep replacing it.

Nicole had a tooth pulled today.

Being a mom and having to see your kids go through pain can be almost to much to handle.

i love technology

I'm connected to the big giant cloud probably more than is good for a person.

Hello blog spot, meet my phone.

the road most traveled by

i must make reference back to this post. it is the kicker for where i am right now. i am not dedicated. i've fallen and can't get up. here i am boldly stating my purpose in life by being a seeker of happiness and i am far from being in that state right now. i love the savior. i do. he carefully places things (read people) in my path to help me along the way. 

i realize i have moments of depression. i get the winter blues as well but thats a cop-out. an easy excuse to be readily made. what it comes down to, i'm rebelling. i realize why the road is narrow, it's hard to stay on if you don't watch your footing. if i don't do what i need to do to choose the things that help me, how can i help me? why is it that when one knows better they still make the wrong choice? maybe i need to learn this. i am a girl from the school of hard knocks after all.

if you have the time or the inclination to stay with me, you'll find out what happens when someone does make better choices. i like that girl. she's happier. she grows and learns better. i want to know her again.

James says no-no

Life

We all know how life gets busy, gets ahead of us, time slips away, too much to do and how many other ways/excuses we have. I know them all. It's when you hear something that you've heard before but need to be reminded of, that you remember how each moment in our lives is precious and fleeting. I end this with the words of the wise turtle from Kung Fu Panda.

"Yesterday is history, the future is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why we call it the present."

For all of those who fret over what was and what is and aren't connected with today, it's nice to be reminded to slow down. Breathe. Love. Love a little more. Smile at someone. Be grateful for what you have. I write this for me. For the one person I knows who needs to be reminded. Anyone else who gains anything from it is a bonus.

Committed

How committed to Christ am I?

I'll get back to this.

Thoughts that go through your head while you are in a cycling class at about 40 minutes into a class.

r.i.p.

rest in peace mantis

life did not last long for you

enjoy fields of gold

pray mantis

i found a pray mantis outside today and the girls were intrigued by it. it was a little scary at first. 

i will admit i was a little creeped out by it but then i held him. 

nicole's friend got a little courage and wanted to hold him. all things look fine in this

picture but she jumped back about two feet when his spikey legs inched closer to her. so ended said bravery. 

then the girls proceeded to argue. he likes me. no, he like me. no, he likes me better. no he likes ME better and so forth and so forth the conversation went. 

nicole asked if she could touch it. it jumped at her. then ended the love affair. they no longer wanted anything to do with it. 

his little alien head kept looking around at us. i think he was as interested in us as we were him. thanks little mantis!

Danielle

The kids got their picture packs back a week or so ago and Danielle says, "Mom, my teeth really stick out." The pose is cute, she has a cute smile, her hair looks great and sure enough the lighting created a HUGE shadow from her teeth casting onto her lip. So I say the positives about it and inside I'm sad because I don't want her feeling badly about herself. George comes home that night and I tell him that the pictures came back and are cute and tell him about the shadow on her teeth and how maybe we should get them retaken. Later on, George says that I probably made Danielle feel bad by what I said and so then I worry. I always worry about her teeth, hence why we started Orthodontics so early on and it is one of those things I just don't want kids being mean to her about. I pull her aside and say "Danielle, did I make you feel bad about your school picture? Are you unhappy about it and should we get them retaken?" She shrugs her shoulders and then says, "I'm okay with it mom. I've learned to love myself. Kinda like Penelope who loved herself even with her pig nose." Oh my gosh. Did she just say that to me? She loves herself for who she is even though she has a really big overbite and kids (and adults) say things about it? I can't say I ever loved myself like that at nine years old but then again, she is a good girl and I love her.

skeletons

painful memories
digging in the past of life
bury who i was

digging through old bones

Found an old box tonight. At first the smell of age hits you as it was opened, then the synapsis kick in from unaccessed areas of grey matter. Pictures of boys I have kissed, a letter from my dad I couldn't quite courage the strength to read, a letter of recommendation from a teacher, notes from a high school friend, painful and cherished memories. I had to stop looking in it.

I don't know where the tears are coming from as I process what I just did. Is it the lost acquaintances? The stupid mistakes? Or a girl I didn't like much. (me) It's not all sadness. Some is painful from reading some of my old writing from English in college. Ugh. Why do I hold on to it? What makes me not want to throw it away? What good can come from a giant floppy disk? I find myself putting it all away and knowing myself, I'll do it again. I'll bring out those memories and dig through the old bones of my past.

gno

three friends together

laughter and fun between them

brings out best in all

i have two best friends, melanie and tracy, who i just moved away from. i hate that i'm farther from them because we do a lot together and now it has to be planned. so last night we had a girls night out, complete with dinner, movie and refreshment afterwards. 

the fun thing was we went to see mamma mia! which depicts two groups women, a mother and her two best friends and the daughter with her two best friends. my friend tracy, on the left, suggested from now on we sing to each other instead of talking like they did in the movie. we tried last night. that was fun. 

a girl and her doll

danielle has had elizabeth for three years now. when she first got her, she wasn't the best caregiver so her hair didn't fair well. we gave her a hair cut. now that danielle has proved that she is a better provider we sent her to get fixed.

she carefully placed elizabeth in a padded box with airholes so she could get air to breathe and then she wrote this letter that was placed inside.

it will be a happy reunion when elizabeth comes back home to us.

Pregnant Kim and three year old William... talking

He might kill me for it one day, but then again... he might laugh.

minutia

a slippery slope. a door begging not to be opened. backlogged stuff that never had a home and now needs a home. it is what stops you in your tracks and you find yourself wondering how did i get here? 

minutia slows

oozing from the crevices

makes kim a dull girl

haiku

three short lines, five sounds
second line seven in all
last is still the first

my attempt of remembering how to write a haiku was writing my first haiku